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2005-11-10 - 11:40 p.m. i am in heaven. heaven! having sex ineb? you ask? drunk as krunk? you exclaim? suddendly combusted and lost back fat pounds? no. just sitting here locked away in my island for days on end creating. i have that insaner than a serial killer deadline for monday to save the big project. there was overatures that it would be taken if i didn't show chops quick. up to par chops. holy shit. the last time i was under duress i crapped my pants and didn't do well. then i felt the inner scortch for ooo 8 mo's after. but this time, i dove in and it just has clicked. my person who represents my creations liked it too. and man, she's fucking tough. gentle, but tough. but i've been having so much fun camped out, lost in tought, far from the world. inaccessable. not debateable. yesterday i tried to go to the bank and the car wouldn't start. so i really ahve been stranded. lizard too me to the bank today. that was my big outting. i've accrued bags of delivery all around me. i've been screening calls and making my helper handle EVERYTHING. i feel badly. but she loves it.. she's younger and excited about the chance at responsiblity. and right now friends, she has it! she has alll of it. she's overseeing the production on not only my belts, but now the jewelry. doing all the shipping, all the putting out of fires. and the research for our new sampling. HEAVEN MAN. i'm never coming out!!! never. my heart nearly broke when cat asked me to come across town tomorrow night for a porch appearance. she said that it was the most difficult thing to ask, but that she needed me. is having a rough go. i'm scared, i don't know if i'll say the right thing. she's a tough cookie. of course i'm there. when a tough cookie musters up enough to ask, you appear. becuz i do know what that takes. i don't know what i'm goign to do about my car tomorrow. i just don't want tomorrow to even come, i'm too in this perfect, sigh of relief. womb. all it took was letting my helper take on some more. i think sometimes i just won't let myself have the calm. well, shit we all know that. i corresponded with the guy from hong kong. JUST my speed. darling. but then i think of all these people my age doing those things that are impressed upon us by the rythmes of life. society. the marriages. babies. babies??? i can't even understand how anyone would *want* that. i do, but later later later, assuming that natural thing will jsut grow in me when i'm with someone i love enough. i'm blabbing on...did you read about the diamond heist i wrote about? dos muerte i had heard. two dead. the owner of the place had the balls to pull out his own piece and gun them down. now i'm feeling protective about my girl being downtown. when i respect someone, i have this ferocious protective nature. fiercely loyal. funny, all of us today talked about food/body. j, vla. me in vla gbook. it's time. it is time. |
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