2005-10-12 - 10:49 a.m.

hi. that whole lock thing really confusssed me.

so there's so much to catch up on, i'm too overwhelmed to do it. go back one to see why i had to lock out. proll still should. but i'm livin' on the edge! guitar riff...

k. so this morning i got a request for a belt ...
FOR THE COVER OF LUCKY FUCKING MAGAZINE TO PUT ONTO MENA SORVINO. and usually they will request some general submission and my stuff never makes it..but this time they asked specifically. doesn't mean it'll make print. but fuck off? i'd have a party when it came out to be sure. i'm already in the party. haven't even sent the belts..i'm at the party.

this is two for two that i've spent half my morning working in undergarments cuz i have a bad habit of checking email even before i get coffee. throws my entire day off.

my stuff with my mom is really bothering my heart. i feel so bad for being so harsh. i'm just reacting to bad old stuff. she used to be really hard, mean and punishing. played bbad favorites w/ my brother. so i just go back there. i was really broken about it last night. stirred up a migraine. lizard and new friend came over, nf cut my hair, glossed lizards. i kept asking them if i should take more asprin after 4 of those some mystery asprin from thailand, and a few kava kava, they thought i had taken enough medicated magic.

ooo my. this week is just simply insane. we have our big big spring tradeshow next weekend and my deadline for everything under the shining rays of the sun is this monday. remaking all my old pieces for new features (perfectionism and growth), making new pieces for new season, making new belts, remaking belts i give away, scanning all the new ones, new colors, reformating linesheets, repricing, printing hundreds of them in time. then promoting it like fuck all. i really wnat the jugular on this one. i have my sights so set. maybe i shouldn't...hmmm.learning about this whole goals - expectations thing.

man o man. llet's all put in a few prayers to jezuz krispy, buddha, allah, any others you can think of that i don't get manic this time. i really want to maintain sanity, balance and an organized space. no more working till 11am the next day.