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2005-09-24 -
1:34 a.m.
this is the most strange phase to date. i've never found myself so very obsessed by anything. sometimes i'd get obsessed on a project. but one that would never last more than two months. i'm up on a fri night at 1.35a.m. doing my paperwork to prep for the bookeeper at 9in-the-god-awful-morning. holy shit, i couldn't wait to tell someone....
holy shit!!!!
i'm in 70 fucking stores!!! over 70. just months ago at xmas i was in, like five-ten! my head is spinning. could also be the vita-cocktail. new mix. you should try. 1 part vitamin drink. healthy plus.
1 part fresh squeezed orange. healthy a go go.
10 part vodka (i go for the lime flavor to keep on the citrus twist).
ice.
and mix. :*)
how wierd, wierd, wierd is this?? what if you guys??? what if i'll actually be able to afford to move? what if? that is my biggest dream since i was a wee-bit. to be able to pay for msyself. you should see my room. i'm at my desk. a big 1950's thing that i redid. $35!! ghetttoo goregous. then there's the van seat i recovered into a white vinyl couch that is covered in belts. i've got some ikea storage things that look cool, also covered to the brim with belts and jewelry. makeshift mod floor bookshelf, held up by books, with stacked "towers of knowledge" adorning them. photo's on the wall. other things. cool coffee table, if only you could actually see it! it's plastered with "stuff." there is leather things and bags and boxes and books everywhere. i get most my exercise climbing through my one bedroom apartment. it's a total adventure trying to answer the phone. btw. i also did amputation control with mta. can you believe? here was our correspondence. we have plans for sunday which i almost sign my life on that he will flake. so then i will meet up with another friend and get silly at our street festival as it were..... here's the emailing:
> > >From: > ineb
> >To: mta <
> > >Subject: are
> > >Date: Thu, 22 Sep 2005 20:08:57 -0700 (PDT)
> > >
> > >you not talking to me for some particular reason?
> > >don't be a baby, let's go to the
> > street
> > >festival and read books and get krunked. PSS HE CAME TO MY BDAY LIKE A BRAVE LITTLE SOLDIER ACTED UNCOMFORTABLE THEN LEFT SOON AFTER... MTA wrote:
>
> > No! Well, I think you hate me and I'm a little
> > afraid of you right now . .
> > but I'm totally down for Sunday - lemme just move
> > some things around - what
> > time do ya wanna go?
> >
> > I saw Lizard last night randomly - with a rose and a
> > dude who wasn't THE X
> > - hmm....
> >
> >
>From: INEB
MTA
>Subject: RE: are
>Date: Fri, 23 Sep 2005 10:38:51 -0700 (PDT)
>
>that's her x before the x after the last x that
>replaced the...you get the idea. where'd you eye spy
>her?
>
>you saw me at my bday and i didn't represent hating
>communications. all i said in the last communique was
>something about me having said all i feel comfortable
>saying and not being sure what more you wanted to say
>about it. hmm yeah i am still irritated with you and
>i do still think it's totally not acceptable to have
>treated me as you did. so hmmm maybe i am still too
>pissed to see you. i know that's just you tho and
>i've known that you run and hide all along, so how can
>i be mad. see now we're back to my original point way
>back...i'm not as mad at you as i was at me. i don't
>even like to think about it. i prefer mental
>amputation at times.
>
>sometimes i shroud myself in thick fog of denial,
>sometimes just to be able to play with the rest of the
>humans, and sometimes in a forgiving, accepting
>fashion. so now we have arrived back at being able to
>hang out.
>
>late afternoon. are you still afraid?
MTA TO ME..
we'll just thumb wrestle it out on Sunday to break the tension . .
I'm totally pliant - however you want to proceed. It was never my
intention
to hurt you. It'll just be good to see you and hang out. talk
tomorrow? --------------------------------- i soo very much don't want to do any more data entry tonight! and i so so so don't want to meet with the bookeeper to do anything about anything tomorrow. this is very displeasing indeed. okay, if i do it, and really pay attention, then i'll get to let myself enjoy my massage at 2pm. oh joy!! and i might go to a picknick movie in the cemetary at night with friends. the shining. ooo. then sunday. work and street fest. maybe a hike? i'm blabbering. stalling. :*(
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