2005-06-14 - 4:05 p.m.

i have so much to catch u up on.

but i'm feeling too foul right now.

just for a brief:

the show looked incredible. i got a few key new accounts. i faired okay. it was a small show. but i came in around a very modest goal, just below. in truth, i'm disappointed that i am not blown away with the results. but it's enough to subsist i suppose. probably not enough for the nightmare it will be to fill those orders.

ya know i'm just defeatist today. i'm really feel dark and crabby.

i got in one hellof'a hellof'a with that designer that copied me last night on the phone. it's so very preposterous that i'll have to go into detail later. but just when i settle into the odd sensation that i have *no* enemies. i have no ghosts, no akwardness anymore after this weekend, this situation ignites with this unbelievably crass woman.

brief on the wedding. it went well. i feel like most of those feelings are put to rest and i will no longer feel wierd in their presense again. more later. but it was nice and i sorta met a crush.

i'm just feeling so sad and i have a headache. the minute i came back to my place and felt the smashing sense of overwhelm, this feeling set in. and i can't shake it. or pill it. or drink it. so i'm just sitting with a furl at my brown and frustration in nearly every response i have today.

i just feel like i have done all of this work only to turn around immediately and do so much more. and i'm really down about this argument, which is silly, cuz by all accounts from anyone involved *including her own son* she is just a loon straight to the fucking moon and i have nothing to worry about. anyone in five minutes would get a taste of her insanity and trust nothing she says about others. but somehow i feel uneasy. she lives around the corner i see the witch everywhere. it's just yucky.

i don't like yucky.