2005-05-29 - 9:42 a.m.

i'm writing from cat's boys. halla' at yer boy. cat and i ....wait first of all the spa was incredible. she did cry for the entire ride there and then got excited. i told her the one condition of the gift was that she wasn't allowed to say a thing about it.

so cat and i decided it would be wise yesterday to spike the doctor pepper when we went on a tour of downtown picking up a few things i needed wholesale and then having me follow her in a buzzed state of bliss the rest of the time.

then we went to her boys and i did my laundry. although he came bback and they got in a tiff cuz we made plans to meet for dinner and it included mtg some guys, so cat is stomping out talking about a taxi and i had to play interference and gather the troops remark how silly this is and tell them they had five minutes to make it right and then we were off. they did make up and everything was jelly.

WITH THE EXCEPTION OF MY GUY NEVER TEXTING ME BACK. what a drunk. firstly, friday night i was hurting so badly after spending all afternoon working my balls off, then shipping and not making the cut off for the first time ever, then working some more, that i got convinced by electro to come to his place. (when we were shipping as a congrats for the hard work of the manufacturers for getting me this far, i went gangsta', brought over a pack of beers, although i intended on champagne but mid down town the choice was modelo or corona. then i handed them an envelop filled with extra cash.)

so i go to electro's and it was a god sent. really relaxing. we picked up another six pack and then ordered thai and watched a movie. he was packing to leave for japan. i didn't even know we were on a holiday weekend. another friend took off last minute for london and amsterdam. i convinced him to send me some pot addressed to "potsy mckool".

so i'm leaving electro's and my guy, the lawyer guy who isn't at all like a lawyer btw, calls from a silly posh resteraunt fishing around at what i'm doing. what a fuck. he wants to come right over. it's like he doesn't make plans with me, but then wants to hang when it works for him. i partially am letting it slide cuz a. he wants to take me away for the weekend and b. he escaped his whole group to come be with me and was thinking of me at dinner instead of the group he was with, which i'm totally assuming included a few chic's. he came over and i took advantage of him and we got up and got breaky in the morn. he really got a bit emotionally intimate in the morning. about being adopted and how that went down, then after he wanted me to spoon him, like maternally and it felt funny. a bit much for me. not that i can't be that way, but it's all so soon. so much so soon. which is my way, it's like a gamble, dive and hope he's worth it after i'm already engrossed, tied, bonded.

yesterday he texted me and i texted back a flirtatious note about expecting a booty call from me later. didn't hear back, i knew he was "entertaining" his in town guest, but come onnnn! thank god cat's boy is talking me off the ledge upon which i want to now torture this guy from. i want to say, hey you missed your booty call so to punish you i met a tall french guy! which i did btw. hot. smart. but i have to allow him to do the right thing before i assume he'll do it all wrong. we've barely had any time to have good patterns with eachother, i have to just let it unfold. he did bring me a picnic dinner when i was on deadline, saying he jsut wanted to see me..

i like him. but i already know he's a problem drinker. he said it himself. drinks every single night. wow. it's just nice to be experiencing something new. the onlly bottomline for me is that i don't blow off my work or life for him. cuz i'm not falling in love with "the him," so i can't derail everything i've been giving to myself.

last night we went to this rad sushi place in some secret area of downtown. it was so very cool. then we went to some sort secret nike party that was a brazilian theme. lots of drums, dancing, expression, rhythm and one tall french guy. i stayed at cat's boys. he had prepared the guest bed for me. so sweet. now we are going to the seek (syk, sik?spelling) temple for the indian breakfast with their indian friends. last night was a japanese, indian, french and brazilian night.

i'm ffeeling happy again. calm. i think it'll be a peruvian day. a day off. imagine! the only thing is i want is to get home and clean and then do a face mask and maybe do just a little of the fun work. tomorrow i actually am doing real work, i think i should cancel it. it's not nice, i started to freek out that everything was closed on monday for my work and i made a manufacturer come in to meet me about a sample. it can wait till tuesday for silly's sake. i've got to call her and let her know. then also on monday i'm doing my accounting books with a friend. ooo joy. just how i want to spend the holiday.

i hope you are well on your vacation days.