2004-11-27 - 7:36 p.m.

hey turkeys.

i sprinted to make the 4:00 deadline, i was there at 3:58 exactly.

again, lateness issues coming up for ineb.

i have to tell you. i feel amazing.

i'm revisiting that tender, sweet place inside that i taste tested before, then ran furiously from. that place where i'm okay with me. where i sit with me, in my space. balance. well. calm. happy. content.

i feel total.

i'm actually prowd of the job i did. i don't feel like there was something i didn't do, or did sloppy or forgot. it looks fucking dope. dope mutha fucka. and it's done and i'm having a play night geek fest with myself tonight as a congrats. and then i'm taking monday off and getting a massage. oooooo. heaven.

ps. i wrote to smarty and let it go. i feel good. writing an email felt less hookable. like he couldn't talk me out of it, because it was full of resolve and honestly i don't want to hear what he has to say. i don't want to get convinced in and i dont' want more disappointment. i just want the washing clarity and continuity. i want continuity now. i want to hold this feeling. create a little room for it in myself. put out the welcome matt. sit down, stay a while. take a load off.

a job well done.

it's one of those sensations where i don't care so much about the results because i already feel so good about the process. although, i'd shit myself on the spot if i got an order from this co. and i'm thinking how could they not order. it looks keen. i'm ready man. i'm ready to open this bitch up.