2004-09-21 - 11:08 a.m.

quick boy update.

the one i like finally called sunday, one whole week later and stopped by. we chatted. we still haven't kissed or anything and like a baffoon i made it apparent that i'm not ready for anything real right yet. and he isn't progressing anything anyway. the power of it all went away slightly.

last night 21 might of come by for a pizza party in bed with a movie, but i fell asleep at 9pm out cold and he never called. when i sleep that much i feel slow and groggy! i needed to catch up from all of the late night and hard work days.

i think i got into the pivotal hipster store. they had me take notes on all of the stuff to order, but he didn't actually place an order. so it's not concrete. i really want to seal that deal, so i have to be good with follow up. which i'm not terribly sterling about.

i've got a bday dinner tonight at a really over played hollywd spot tonight. not looking forward to dropping major dime, to be around a bunch of fools and ache through painful conversation with her borring, conservative, drunken friends.

o' obligation.

i really want to have sex with 21. he's playing it slightly cool and i think i need to as well. but when i want something i don't exactly wait around. i like immediacy, which can ruin things at times. or almost every time. patience is a golden virtue i have no clue about.

ooo shit man, i have so much work to do. i've promised myself some time off, and under how much i feel i need to do, it feels just impossible to treat myself. but i better otherwise i'll go underground and disappear to force time off, the way i usually do it.

and how are you? :*)