2004-09-19 - 4:30 a.m.

what the fuck am i still doing up? i got home late and had no intention of winding down, despite turning down the offer from the cute boy from belfast...

so i've been cleaning. like a crack head.

and i'm delerious.

the party was good. but like a cock tease. all amazing guys but no deals closed. and i called my 21 too late. he was heading home to malibu. note to self, when your stringing someone for late night, you have to give a drop time estimate. but i promised him we'd cause some trouble tomorrow. which is now today. i need to sleep. i'm desperately deprived.

there was this couple tehre tonight that defines jet set. it's sick. she's got a family name, is goregous, owns two companies, speaks another language and is 22. he (her fiance) is a stunning swiss businessman who just kills it in general. i can't imagine. why do some just seem to have it all?? binging on fabulous. he wants to hook me up with the best jeweler designer in the world as he claims, who is out of paris and a city in switz. the man made her 42 fucking carot skull ring with rubbie and diamond eyes. can we collectively say, SICK?

bubbling with slight jealousy.

i'm having so much fun making things. i can't stop the idea's and the inspiration. the more i learn, the more insatiable the need to create eats me alive. i learned the first part of custom carving today. and i learned how to wire wrap yesterday. fuck it man, i want to get dirty. i have my last store apptment of this round on monday. i want to make a few pieces tomorrow to just blow their job. but i'm also wanting to barr myself from working on sunday. whatever. and i want to give myself a break from the store apptments, but there's a few others i want to call and try to book while i'm feelin it. but it may just really burn me out. the point isn't to just ignite, but to burn constantly.

lord i'm such a potential cracka' head.

good night.

or good morning.

:*j