2004-09-09 - 3:25 p.m.

holy bean baby. i'm shaking my balls off. apparently overly caffienated today.

but feeling better. had an amazing therapy session where i threw a tearful tantrum. fantastic.

i got several killer store appointments yesterday so that feels fit as sin. and and now i'll actually have to make sure they place an order and not shelve it for later when they have a bigger budget or some shit.

last night one of my friends who was engaged to a man until she found out he was sleeping with hookers all the time and spending all of his dime on it. she is the toughest texas girl i know. the type that always has her nails in perfect condition and yet goes to work in a hard hat as a super scientist in a factory. go figure. but this girl doesn't let people or know whats up. a bunch of friends were together and as we were leaving she let it all rip with me. cried on my shoulder for a *good* long time and it was one of the biggest compliments i've received. that someone with such thick walls and protections would let it go with me. and the truth is, i've *never* seen her so beautiful. so raw, so open and her spirit so stunning. it's amazing who we are when we are open. unfortunately it took this to open her. she's in a crisis with what to do and how to get through. they were engaged. living together. she doesn't want to believe in anything anymore. it was really interesting. i think she came to me cuz she knows that i'll be honest and not blow a bunch of "it'll get better"'s up her ass. i also promised her we'd egg his car. of course, that's standard.

:*) shit i've gotta go work and try to stop drinking coffee.

that new guy i'm interested in hasn't called and today is my inner deadline of sorts.