2004-05-29 - 6:51 p.m.

okay. honestly i'm feeling wierd.

irritable.

emotional.

i think my period is well on its way. and i feel like everyone is just two cents off right now.

fuck i just looked online for the full moon as i'm calibrated with it and i'll be bleeding right in the middle of all of my meetings. god damn. sometimes it zens me out tho. i get all high and sensitive and in tuned with it.

right now i just feel fuckin sad. i'm pissed, i feel like i haven't gotten enough mtgs.

one set that i'm 'represented' for, i have two extremely solid, nervewracking mtgs. and i'm so shut up about them. i just don't know if i'll blow it or not.

and the businesss i started, i only have two meetings set and i'm too exhausted to ralley and call and make more happen. i need some joy and silliness mixed in. and i want to hang with a friend but worker has too much of an edge and i can't take intensity and lizard is too sensitive. i have to watch what i say and it's a crap shoot if it will be light and fantastic or turned into a 'thing'.

the just 21 yr old called last night and sent my adrenals blasting off the roof. he's so cool its sick. and not in that i'm so in the scene cool model of la/miami/ny way. cool in an underground way. cool that he likes really non-mainstream places to hang. cool that he made amazing lit references from one of my favorite books.

my place is such a mess i can hardly feel inspired here. but i have absolutely no time to clean or do laundry.

today just isn't my day.

i'm going to go work on a client, maybe go check out a really cool robotic show and then shit i have hours of work to do and all i want to do is crawl up with a tuna melt, a movie and CHECK OUT.

like i did last night :*).

how r u?