2004-05-18 - 12:30 a.m.

3 days of my 29 and i'm doing fairly well.

of course i've found it necessary to to eat half a pint of ben and jerry's.

fuck man, all i do is work.

and i love it.

so that thing i worked on for the last year has been messangered out by my posse.

it's "out" there now. i still don't believe it. i'm in complete denial, like it's in pretend land. it's fucking unnerving to be in suspence. i don't particularly want to get rejected and i don't know how i'll take mtg's on it either. somewhere inside, it's so hard for me to believe it could happen, that i think it will get a whirl wind of rejection or worse, silence. ignored. logically, i know it's sellable. it has a chance.

i worked late at my friends on the east side, so i shacked at another friends over there. i fell asleep eating chocolate eggs in bed looking at her purchased home and proper curtains and reflecting on how adult some people are and how far off i am from that brush your teeth at night and wake up at eight ideal.

it's like being in another state, across town. i had my morning coffee at an ultimate downtown hub and got a taste of the specificity of that art school, architect, designer, black rimmed and go-tee crowd. those lill nuggets.

dood. if i don't get some sleep i'm going to simply melt into a jelly substance that will pour away into the cracks of our universal consciousness.

:*) xoxo.

yes, i did just do that.