2004-03-20 - 12:54 a.m.

last night ended up being a real wallup.

i don't know that i'm prepared to explain. see, now, life is going too fast if i can't even keep up on detailing my adventures.

but the date was a really good kisser. which made me temporarily drop my drawers. long story.

anyway. i saw that sunshine kaufman film tonight. with this writer guy. the newest one. what you must be thinking..sigh.

he has been the first one in ages that is doing the adult thing and seems really into me and yet isn't fully laying down beneath me pretending to be a woman.

he grew up in brooklyn and that somehow helps. he's extremely intellegent. he's done all the right things, asked me out in advance, made reservations, called early....i love it. and at dinner he was checking out my bracklet/cuff and started to hold my hand. ever so easily and didn't reliquish that right until he walked me to my door at the end of the night. he feels *already* like a boyfriend. like he wears those shoes. like he wants to slide them on and rev up the movie watching.

thank god he is as busy as me and that this will have to have a naturally slow speed. let's call him curly. cuz he has curly hair.

i'm not wildly physically attracted to him. what i do like? i love that when i asked if he was a liberal, he said flaming. i like that he talked about feelings in a real way. i like that he's so comfortable with himself and not cocky. i love that he's assertive and yet doesn't piss on the fire hydrant. i like that he's successful in a creative career and i like how much he likes me. we did kiss, ps. it was like a feather brushing a face. light and unintrusive.

my mind is constantly thinking of the design stuff. trying to solve problems.

i'm jealous of curlies dedication to his writing. he writes like a proper writer, ten-fifteen hours a day. i'm jealous of the focus and dedication. when will i be able to pick just one thing and do it all the time with some degree of accomplishment?