2004-03-08 - 7:57 p.m.

i fuckin love cheerios. with lot's of cool milk.

i've had an adreniline day of the physical. great yoga to start and a ridiculous walk/sprint-like-tiger in the afternoon.

it's incredibly warm in LA. the air is delicious.

more on the hike from yesterday later.

my brother wanted to cut his foot off. he got some thing that back in the dizza made people cut limbs off with wreckless abandon. i think it's just cuz he's dehydrated and hitting the chemistry set too hard.

he's depressed about the lady crackin his heart. and i hate that i can't do anything about it. i want to pinch her really hard. i want to find him someone good and mostly i just want him to feel good about himself.

a friend is turning 21 and we are going to a jazz burlesque thing, east side. maybe i'll invite the turk. yummy.

holy shit. i opened the biz account today. it's getting so official. it's wild. i still feel like i never have any time, and yes if i socialized less i'd have more time, but i feel inspired by that energy. but i'm not letting that "so behind" feeling own me. i'm laxing into it more and deciding to let go of not 'doing everything' and just recognizing what i do do.

i drop kicked m. he was actually surprised, but i made it really easy on him, cuz i love him. i feel a lot of love for people right now. i told him i could easily see him as a friend, upon which he deemed, a "casual homey". yes, that would sum up my very highschool string of experiences. we can comfortably say that that phase is o v e r.

last night i went to the fucking worlds great dive in the universe of any city in exhistance. it was ripe. and it wasn't pretending to be a dive and it didn't have red lounge attire or votives. no. it had a pile of dirt in the bar, a canister of powdered mashed potatoes, cartoons on the wall, a band cracking it, a discreet alley in downtown, amidst gaudelahara bars with drunk mexican men holding up old fords in bucket sizes hats. fencing, trash, brick. it was thoroughly satisfying. i liked one band and thought the lady rocker was a queen.

i can't stop eating my cheerios!