2003-12-11 - 1:00 a.m.

laziness: 2

sugar binge: 0

i'm still too lazy to go and buy the brownie frosted sugar cookie absolute rush.

i declined nyc tonight. which i'm feeling good about. cuz when i hang with him, i get enveloped by him. and i have too much 'to do'.

and i'm hyper tense about my wrinkles that seem to grow by the day. i want that perky skin i had when i was 20. it was flawless and now it seems to have rebelled in a fierce and fucked way. i can't accept growing 'old'. i can't accept change when it's not to my benefit.

i'm working late.

worked all day on massage and at the activist job. now working more on the creative stuff.

i need to tell my step brother off tomorrow. i'll let you know how it goes.

hope you found a reason to smile today. even if it was your right hand.