2003-11-19 - 11:47 p.m.

note: read previous. will make better sense.

let's call my nyc special friend i'm now having sex w/ 'nyc'.

so tonight nyc dogs me to go to the club, saying he can't get me in, he barely gets in and that he needs to 'network' tonight. he needs to get his freek-on i'm sure and i'm irritated as he should know that i don't care and that i would be playing just as hard if i was there. i wouldn't be holding him back with a steal kiss. i can jsut picture him now ruling the room.

i'm also pissed that i can't get in, and won't even try. not worth it unless you have a connection. it's all so silly isn't it? but i really wanted to go and check out this hot lesbian woman he told me about. and i wanted to meet boys and shake it and etc. i'm irritated with him, not if he really can't get me in, but if he actually thinks i'd ruin his stupid 'game' and thus isn't making it happen.

but lizard set me straight saying that i'd be the same way if the tables were turned and that after a date i call him to snuggle up, so i don't even get to be mad when he wants to hang after his 'networking'. puulleezz.

i guess i'm just not hip enough kidz!! haha. anyway. i'm tired, haven't been sleeping enough. and i'd like to surf in the morning. so i should go straight to bed. he'll probably call me for afterhours. fuckin punk. i've been feelin fiesty to be going out lately. whatever. the guy i met last night asked me out for friday. i may go. he seems a little too affectionate and slathering. meaning he's just like that with every grl. laying it on thick. we'll see. he's got amazing carmel eyes and fun spikey afro hair.

i got that job i went on the interview for a while ago. i'm an environmentalist now, part time. it'll be interesting and good income suppliment. i have my first training tomorrow. i'm a little worried about having the time to do it, but i'm an overly caffienated spaze, so i'm sure i'll do just fine. i am afraid of the responsibility tho, i hate when people rely on me. that blows.

fuckin nyc. out prowlin and leaving me in the dust. what a fuckin punk. i guess i deserve it after working the room last night just under his nose. hehe. i'm excited cuz this weekend there's a kewl art opening in chinatown and i'm mtg a new guy, friend of a friend that surfs and doesn't drink and is adventurous and supposedly, normally holds down some semblance of a normal job.

and i haven't had any time for my art work. god damn it.