2001-06-19 - 6:26 p.m.

i was stupendously depressed yesterday. i had a dreary head black out. the kind where i'm cold sober and don't remember a thing cuz none of it is worth recalling.

but today...

is different.

i've made a decision.

which always feels like i've jumped off a five story with wings.

i've lost my car.

i'm quitting my job.

i'm leaving for bangkok in two weeks. i will back pack and kiss people all over se asia for over a month.

i may come back and in the event that i do i will rush around like a wild abanchee and find a fabulous job. i may even get a silly job to tide the bills over till i find the job i love.

cuz the theory is that once i get this wild fun out of my system then i'll be ret' to go on the whole career front. like ret' to find the job that'll make me squeel.

cuz i'm in an ultra responsible job now, but i hate it and i certainly don't squeel with joy. but i don't wnat to find that job now then want to leave for a month and travle.

whatever

nuerotic justifications

i'm going.

so sue me

hehehehehheheeheheheheheheh.

i'll come back a schosh iin debt, with less money to buy a fly set of wheels. but that is so material.

it comes ... it goes.

it WENT.

it's a sign. i feel free by all the loss. i kept wanting to be free and get the wild oats out. here it is folks.

so i quit on thursday night....shhhhh. clean out my desk friday. have a week to surf. have a family reunion. then i'm off. i purchase the ticket tommorrow.