2001-04-21 - 7:17 p.m.

Tip of the day: If you feel like something isn't right in the world, don't sit on the couch talking about it...get up and work to change it.

Now I can say this today, cuz I was the do-gooder that'll make your eyes roll back in your head and spit out the word 'pollyana' at the thought of my name.

I started the day doing a beach clean up with a friend (because I surf and bitch about the water being so dirty). It felt great to do. I want to do it more often. And they fed us mean ass buritoes for our efforts, plus I got a tree in a tube that I am going to plant. OOo see it's earth day darlings, so go hug yerself a tree!

I remember this wild out of self experience I had in the woods as a little girl. I was lost in nature, not in navigation, but lost to the spirit that lives there. I was filled by it as I wandered around, chasing a group of deers, looking at the rocks, trees, listening to the sounds of those things dancing on the green. I was a mystical kid that chose to escape into a world of quiet imagination, cause my reality was unbearable and isolating. So I had characters and a best imaginary friend. I had boyfriends and make out sessions on peaches and the brass post of my bed. I was a princess and a witch. I had a private cove in the neighborhood that I would hide in. I told my friend Amber that I had an evil twin and I would pretend to be two different people to her. My imagination is what has kept my spirit alive and full of blood rushing red, deep orion blue, and everest breathing green. And now, years later after much sleep, I am waking back up to that fierce force hoping to be again inebriated in it.

After the beach, I went on a solo date with myself to check out new galleries in town that I want to submit my work to. It felt so empowering and possible. I felt all butterfly giggles and belief in it all. I tangled words with gallery owners, not alluding to the fact that they will receive samples of my work. I sussed them out, they thought I was a buyer, so I was treated with tantilizing tongues and invitations to openings.

Then I helped a fellow in the street who ran out of gas. Because he couldn't help me in return, I told him, that his repayment could be helping the next person in that circumstance.

THEN..I fed the homeless.

Now, that is a day of service and heart massages!

Delicious!

Last night I saw a friends band. He is bearded and he gyrated in front of a mural of a dragonfly lady with dark Indian breasts and long elegant golden wings. For some reason on the way there STinko and I got into telling eachother of our list of the celebrities that we've seen around lately. I usually never get into this or even remember who they are. It was a large list. It's LA. The lights are so bright, it's blinding.

Then STinky took me to a foo foo eatery that is owned by Robert Dinero (see I am shallow). hheee. There was your usual prowd crowd there and then there were several wealthy gwuido's with see-thro black shirts literally buttoned down to their bellies, just like the movies. Their women were also a site right outta Jersey. High hair, bad scare, fake blond, big hoops, bad tans, lots of muscle.

I had a cheese plate at dinner that made me tingle. I had to close my eyes and take in the absolute power of that cheese. It was amazing and it made me not so sorry for myself about not being able to enjoy fine wine. I get to have fine fine cheese you see.

cheers,l