2001-04-18 - 9:33 a.m.

tip o' de day: if you want to get a sense of a man immediately, do the following:

look at his shoes, ask about his favorite resteraunt, and ask if he likes his mother (like=good) and how often he talks to her (everyday=bad). Now you have everything you need to know.

I have this theory that every red flag is actually revealed on the first date and then I make the choice to ignore it or listen in. I knew exactly what didn't work with my 'x' on the first date! It's all there, you just have to listen. But he did have great shoes.

I must be shallow. There is some place in me (burned in my skin from living too long in LA) that cares about going to hot spots and good eateries. I attract and enjoy shallow friends and what is this about? Swimming in this side of me. But there is another side too and it's thirsty. It's the aspen tree's changing colors, cotton candy licking, caring, thoughtful part that loves to talk about politics and life occurances. Yes, I read the Wall STreet Journal. This man fell out of his chair when he saw my journal, asking me what kind of work I do that I have to read that? None, actually. People in LA are fruitballs for the most part. Pearly pink and baby blue ones.

I told cha that I have lunch today with the big wig? I'm nervous, thinking what do I have to give, and what am I attempting to get or learn? Maybe I'll just show up and let it unfold. I know I will ask her how she got where she is and what she likes about it. That would be good to learn. I'm always exploring. I'm going to do some pro-active work on the things I'm developing, trying to commit to my idea's.

Stinky stayed over last night. oopps. I had a weak moment. We went to dinner, watched a movie, Billy Elliot. I really enjoyed having someone to snuggle with. But I'm not as interested in padding this experience. I'm ready to feel the full spectrum and be open to turning into my butterfly.

oommm my gosh and I forgot to tell you, we joked abou him paying me 120$ for a blowjob. lovely. And the funny part was that I didn't see too much wrong with it, we both get something we want, but HE ended up having a conscious about it and wasn't able to get hard becuz of it. My conscious must of been taking a nap.

I did clean a friends apartment for cash yesterday and all she had to say was that I missed two spots. Nice, all I wanted was a pat on the back. I have enough $ right now, I just want extra so I can go treat myself to a cheap massage or something. Plus I like to clean, it's like a free workout.

cheerio stinkers....

oh I found my cat, she smelled like a car.

now go burry your nose in a rose to brighten your day.