2001-04-15 - 1:31 p.m.

happy keeeaster!

tip o' the day: be kind to one stranger today and see how you feel.

i gave this guy some money to help clean up my car. we cleaned it together and he told me he feels good today, spiritual, cuz he got a hot meal down at the beach cuz its keeaster. it choked me up some. that all it takes is a hot meal for some to feel happy and that all it took for me today was this talk with this great char black old man with a funny chain necklace donning his neck. his humbleness hurt my heart. it's the quiet spaces in between that my sense of the spiritual resides, waiting patiently.

today it feels like there is water pouring out and i have no cup to keep it in.

ei. there are gorgeous boys on my street, down at the farmers market, but i have no capacity right now. no ability. i'm too sad, too quiet inside, mourning things i can't even name. i can't define, but boy do i feel them whole heartedly today.

i'm going to go hit the surf for a quicky play in the sand box. then i'm off to yoga to meditate in childs pose and not get sucked into kelby's perfectionism and pushing her body in the seemless effort to create the perfect butt. how sad.

i have felt horifically sad today. and abundant, like i know everything is okay, i'm just sad anyway. so like a previous entry, i've decided to sink into it and get aware. feel with all five sense's what this thing of sadness really feels like.

with love, l