2005-12-14 - 4:45 p.m.

hey i'm feeling a lill' lowwwww right now. not sure why. i hate that it gets dark so early. that my tree shades me of the last ounces of light i can drink.

today i went to the gym. i've been doing my adorable atkins project for just over two weeks now and it's actually going well. i've slimmed down. i work out more. have taught myself about my impulses. have put the hand down. today i guzzied up shyly to the punching bag outside. i used to be in karate. competed just a little bit, but when i did, i was pretty...agressive. into it. won a trophy even. heheh.

and it felt so good to just pound. pound it all out. the punching combo's i used to love. the kicks. the power. that drive. pushing into soemthing. getting it all out.

i have been feeling a real craving to get back into this. i want to start competing again. i want to do exactly the opposite of how i have felt ever since my surgery.