2005-10-04 - 2:58 p.m.

i am doing so much better. i woke up happy. i gave myself some time this morning to collect the fragmented pieces of myself.

literally, i'm so uncomfortable about my assistant. she rocks so hard. that i just get shy.

i'm still really nervous about speaking with the old assistant. we've played phone tag and i can just hear it in her voice. the edge. god, how did i not see that originally! she's got such an edge of anger or something. i don't know how this conversation is going to go. she's such a princess i can see her freeking out and getting extremely self riotous or getting really appologetic and afraid.

i hate conversations like that.

we jsut shipped a reedik amount of orders...which means momma's gonna get some pay day!!! finally. i've been stretching cash flow magic innaughty naughty ways. like using money pops gave for bills and money busy gave from travel to front biz instead of paying off said accounts. which means, i'm over the balance on my credit card by an amount i can't even discuss. and the health bills sit awaiting some love. it just feels so good to ship all this off. i'm iin awe of how much you can accomplish with help. it's just so hard for me to accept and let in. i'm feeling like i'm holding my breath. i have that sensation in my whole body. it's too good to be true. i'm sure she's human with some flaws, whihc are welcome...but i just don't see any major red flags. holding breath...

hmmm. now i have to run off and work on clients. oooohboy! but then i have a hair party at my place, lizard and new cool friend are coming over and ncf is doing our hair. thx g cuz mine has currrently faded from a nice dark chocolate to a effervescent orange!

"me"

get it?