2005-09-20 - 10:55 p.m.

all in the room, raise your hand if you want to throw up the two cupcakes and barrels of tuna laced with avacado lime mousse you ate tonight!

why did i have to take the second cupcake hostage for the ride home. "one for the ride." strawberry. it was becuz i got told off for fingering the frosting off and leaving the rest. so guilt persuaded me.

i went to this ridiculous jewelry party for a friends "fall line" at my clients house after working on them. he basically jsut sells to people who can pay at any price. he's stuff is beautiful. i ate too much, felt too fat and left irritated that the cute guy prefered to pick up on the 23 blond, tan clueless who has nothing going on beyond her vastly interesting career in soaking up vitamin d and popping pills. but who am i to talk, i took half her perkaset.

yum! a little up, a little down, and somehow...i'm back to even!

after reading jumbly's adventures, i thought, well jezuzz krist. i've been far too mild as of late. entirely well behaved. no libations. no pills. no boys. no take homes. nada. so i thought i'd dirty the scene up a bit tonight.

but i've been curtailing myself by never having sugar or alcoholic beverages in home. that way if i'm that much of a fiend i have to force myself to walk the extra blocks to EARN my vice. but guess who just remembered that *someone* had a very big accident today and bought low carb vanilla frosting in a jug!!

ooo my god. i didn't tell you about my recent altercation.

i had a lovely day the other day, driving around the east side, picking up belts at my manufacturer, going for a city hike. looking at the vast sight of this beautiful city. the palms, the hollywood sign. the smog. early in the car i did my routine civil disobiedence and flipped off a man in a hummer. i took it a scosh further, flipping and then dead stopping in front of him to flip a u. to which he flips u, follows. pulls over, gets out, comes up to my car.

hmmm.
i think. shall i risk death today?
sure. why not!

he says "you have a problem with me?"
me: "no. actually i don't. i have a prob. w/ ur car."
he: what about all the navigators and others out there???
me: i hate them too. do you have any idea how much gas... and so on.
he: well i bought this before all that went down. and your just an **** *****.
me: well did you send your children over there to kill for enough gas to fuel this for the day?
(that's my stinger.btw).
he: now too stunned to speak. but then said something about me having nothing better to do blablalba. as if. then he slams my car door on my leg and stomps off like the puffer* he was.

(*he was a little light in the loafers as my gramps liked to say.)

now *thats* some fucking reasoning. bought it before it was uncool to do so. well that explains it your joneser. you fanny. it's as if he watched too many episodes of 'entrerouge' which i can't spell, and said, that's dope man, i'm gonna make up for my very small unit, my very small sense of self, sense of meaning, and get a hunk of vehicle to speak for me.

witty. indeed.

here's the thing that amazes me. half a perc. several drinks. sugar dispensed in the form of cupcake madness, and i feel leveled off. sober. nearly. just a little fuzzy. but no where near soaring.

so i'm at my witts end with this hiring thing. i got near again and the girl decided it was too dangerous to take the risk and decided to be an architect instead. i have one more grl i really like and i'll interview her next week, but i feel like no one i like will take this fucking job. so i have no hope on it. i've taken to doing all of the running around myself. double teaming. and it's not like i have the liquidity to fund gads of help anyway. but i always make it work. like magic. like plastic and high interest rates, rather.

g-land, thx for the encouragement. half the time i really have no idea what i'm doing, if this will ever work, and what "working out" really even looks like. i jsut know i'm probablly unemployable at this point anyway, so i better make it work. there are so many reasons it *has* to work. lots of pressure. which reminds me, i should be findin out how we did at the show. sales...why don't i know!! dying to know. i'll let you know soon. dying. could be the sugar rush, hushed by the sedatives.
adorable.

but thank you. i need all of the help, belief and encouragement i can get!

pss fat eddy;s assisting me with the frosting, licking it off my finger. this cat *will* *eat* *anything*.

will your cat eat frosting?

eggs?

cereal?