2005-08-05 - 2:51 a.m.

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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

holy shit.shithsit

i just had a midnight confessional from MTA. of all people.

apperently i'm the last to know. jezuz. appererently i'm just like .... well he said that he's been crushing for a while and that i he's afraid that i'm the 29 yr old who will just laugh it off. demean. or something. say silly mta. but secretly you know how i've had a mad crush. shit he's coming over.
jezuz. what???? i told him not to think too much and jsut come by. he said i promise next time i'll behave and be just a friend and i said you don't have to be and he was into it. apperently according to him he's been concielling feelings and he's felt naughty things for me for a while. wtf.

i'm insane.

clearly.
apperent.

i know i build walls by battalions.

i know through the walls, i'm peeping through a hole, choosing the view that everyones rejecting me.

this is just all so wierd.
so wierd.

CAN NOT WAIT TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT TOMORROW. WHEN I'M GOOD AND MORTIFIED!!

i'm so glad ur on this adventure with me. no one should attempt my insanity alone.
now the question is should i go put make up back on? should i wear cute things? casual things? nothing. hehe not a chance. maybe the zeplin t and cute jeans. too bad stileto's aren't casual 3a.m. attire.

i know. i know...