2005-01-10 - 4:45 p.m.

holy ali-bobwa.
holy fuck-all.

end of day today i get a fax from that boutique i was hurting over... the one i jumped, dove, and greesed through as many hoops as they asked of me, they placed a test order. and it's quite a healthy order.

listen, just to have 1/4 of this order is so incredibly bank because of their "name". but it's financially a clean order as well. that is so big that i think i'm entirely numb right now. fending off a late in the day headache. this morning i woke to such pain that i contemplated how they'd find my body, how far my phone was to dial 911 if my appendix burst. i could barely move, i was just rolling around moaning, till i figured it might be some major back up in the lower piping. i had a fiber drink, malox, vita c, magnesium, calcium, wheat grass, anything i could. then it went away. but i thought i'd die.

those ladies really want me to go out tonight. arrgg. of course i sorta want to, but in reality i'm tired, need more centering, certainly not more party and these ladies throw it back. but curiousity always kills this cat. what i want to do is take a bath, read, do a bit more work and call it. not drive in the swamp like rain downtown to meet a crew of hot ladies who want to play.

and whats more is i have a client i have to shuffle off to in a mo. arg. on a headache. can you tell how very berry over massage i am? i've got to turn up the heat in other directions, i just don't want to anymore.

then i think of those friends in the fields working excess hours doing repetitious work without the choice of "want". simply survival.

and i feel like a fat american when i pout about work and refusing to do anything slightly annoying like a child. sometimes its just not always fun. bless that it mostly is for me and that i have a mostly clean bill of health. ooo that's the other thing, i have a doctors appointment at 7.45 am. for my pending neck issue. i'll let you know how that goes.

:*)