2001-08-28 - 2:43 p.m.

singapore airport...again

there's nothing quite like stomping thro the port with old beastie boys blasting in my ears. i felt like an unstoppable murderess.

it makes me want to rage. get naked and roll through mud. throw things. glass against brick walls. scream. run.

but i'm in singapore so i must be careful not to chew gum, spray graffitti or stick my finger up any ass, including my own.

cheers.

i'm off to bangkok, to race like a madwoman through the airport, pick up stored luggage, go throw the hundreth immigration anxiety filled line, board plane to see cush in said small island paradise.

fuck all night long.

census that mutha fuckin watchdog silly boys over my shoulder whilest you examine my typage.

i'm trying to pry the expectations and fantasies out of me about my time with cush. for as usual, i have no idea what the universe has in store for me to learn. i'm trying to stay wide open to the experience, what ever it might be. i'm trying to unwind from my tight grip the images of us frolicking on the beach, making love, caressing, him proposing. me writing my novel beachside, taking in a tenderly chocolate tan. i don't know whats ahead. isn't that the best fucking high. the surprise to come....

sooon we'll both know.