2001-07-10 - 8:52 p.m.

july 9th 11.30 am LAX airport upon departure

i'm melting on the spiked brown hair of the pimply asaian man sitting across from me. i'm staying here or removed, calm as 7 am waters- glassy. quiet. calm. i was watching sunday night tv with ripe as if i was never leaving. the drive over i spoke of the travel to nepal. i'm not really going, my body is just moving forward. its like when i had three redbulls and flew that 4 person plane. or the zone i got to as i got my travel shots. utterly statinary. now this may be becuz i am exhausted. exhauseted. but i am calm. i joked w/ ripe. i msmirked with joy as i crossed the internatinal line not feeling the tug on my heart of leaving a boyfriend. off with my light backpack and my straw flipflops with blue sequence, i feel incredibly free. and utterly grounded and secure. i am already living in a foreign place.

10th 8.30am, seoul, south korea

no i'm fucking exhausted. i coudn't sleep at all on the plane even after downing 2 molotonine pills. and the piss my pants turbulence on a bardge that pretends to be a plane at 3am was super nice too. i think it was that point at which i declared that i'm not really cut out for this, that my fear was gobbling me and that i couldn't get on that dangerous plane to laos or the puddle jumpers in the islands. forget the whole trip! i'm in korea and i still don't feel like i've left or that any of it is a big deal at all. its like korea town in LA. only no whitees at all. i walked for a whie 7am getting stares, wanting a cup of good ol' joe only to find foreign words with strange foods. so i'm

'centering' here in mcdonalds. what a puss.

later on i checked out a great side tea house with 8 bowls full of wild looking food, i tried it all, except the small fishies with boogi eyes. they had this wild nooks and cranies with small walk ways and red roofs that dip down to the world. i peaked in houses to see women on the floor cutting the daily food.

now i'm in bangkok and i'm REALLY exhausted. it's 8pm and i had a ridiculous ride next to this mexican man who would not shut up. he kept gettng up and yelling and staring at me etc.

i'm at some small place, a shack, i may eat and then try to crash. tomorrow i have a lot to do and i don't want to be too zoned out. cheers!