2001-05-15 - 8:55 a.m.

tip o the mornin: fuck yer diet, go for an extra walk in the week and enjoy your life.

So I had some yum yum last night. I'm so happy this morning. And come to think of it, I've been feeling extrodinarily happy for a bit now. And I'm sorry to readers if I've been all pollyanic, but if you read beginning entries, you'll understand that it's not always been so peachy. I've been worked.

So I told u that Sat night I met a babylicious. Well yesterday he emailed me to say hi and bye cuz he's leaving the country today.

*Okay, turned on! *

That's JUST the level of committment I can handle. Leaving the country the next day (remember mr. uk and his enormous whoo-ha?). So although he was extremely busy packing, I utilized persuasive powers to be a naughty influence and make him meet out for drinks.

I walked down to meet him at 'posh sushi place', we had tuna, we talked. and talked. And I'm going to tell you honest impressions, cuz of my 'you know everything you need to one the first date theory' thing, cuz then if something develops we can just check back to this page and say, see doll, I knew it.

He's a little bit shy. Reminds me a scosh of the artist numb nut I dated years ago. But he's much more. I could tell he's an only child, but he's also considerate of others... moving my hair away from taking a dip in the soy, being kind to the bus boys. He's also attentive to life, experiencing it all. That is something I live by, so for someone to get that, that sinking into the details....We talked about taking pix..traveling. the slaughter house. The things we see as artists, but have to just record, removing ourselves from the center of it. We talked about surfing. He's 31, well traveled, I think his pop has money to travel, but he doesn't act it. He doesnt seem too ambitious. He runs some buildings, like a landlord with freee rent I imagiine. And he does photography.

In surfer mode, he sounds like he's 20 years old. He drove me home and in his black convertable 1970's cadillak, we sat and did that stammering talk, waiting to see if someone would make a move. That lasted wayyy too long. I got impatient, as per usual. So I was biding goodnight, hugged him and he didn't try to make a move. So I was going crazy, I wasn't about to let this baby leave the country with out getting a taste of him. So I just dove in and gave him a peck, which turned into a smooch and full blown make out session. I felt like I was at some groovy drive in.

This whole five senses thing is ripping into me and massaging some place in me. It's like being high. It's like when your on a swing set, flying upside down and you look at the ground and your stomache turns into sparkling fizz. He kissed with magnatism. He touched me with a particular enjoyment and attentiveness. He licked my lips with his, his thumb sliding around the nape of my neck. The way he held my hand tightly as we kissed. The way he wouldn't touch any off-limit area's. He was just very into the five senses too and he wasn't afraid to look into my eyes and stay there. Actually I finally turned away coyly. I really had fun and the whole deal made me desperately want to snuggle. I hate that, cuz it triggers a need in me. A thing that wants something more. JUST when I was relaxing into myself, needing so little and staying content.

I want to just stay in the panty land remember? No deep connections.

Here's the red flag's on him. He pulled me hair, in a funny way I guess, but it was like, what r u doin fella? He's not assertive and not as confident (but he's also not at all cocki). Also when I told him he could ask me any two questions (cuz I asked him if he liked classic rock and what his fav resteraunt was), he asked me what mine was and then he asked me a sexual question. This is a set up, a test to find out what direction the guy is thinkin of you in. If he asks something like 'when was ur last relationship' or ANYTHING in that direction, then he wants something all sugary and nice with you. If he asks something sexual, then he's thinkin with his dick (and don't they all). But if he said something relationshipy I woulda freaked, so he couldn't win. But I know he was trying to behave, cuz he said he didn't want to ruin it (that's why he didn't try to kiss me).

Finally I tore myself off of him at 2am. and went inside my apartment like a good girl, alone.

My friends at work convinced me to sign up for this funny online meeting guys thing. And it's a gas. I've talked to one great pre-med guy. He sounds normal, nice. So, darlings I am just revving up my engines for this summer!!!

cheers.

ps. my work continues to be hillarious. i just found out the executives son (whose on the job 3 days a week) is fresh outta rehab over a slight heroin addiction. He's a little nuts, like an explosive too close to a flame. Also I lead a really good meeting and at the end did a go team where we all put our hands in the middle together and did a raa raa. It was a blast. That part comes naturally to me when I'm feeling comfortable. I'm having so much fun playing the part of a boss. It tickles me.