2001-04-28 - 4:29 p.m.

Tip o' the day: take one minute to take a bunch of long deep breaths, in through the nose, and slowly out thro the mouth.

whole lotta chatta to say: review, dolphins, beauty school drop outs.

I fucking love cheese. And bless my heart that I do. I haven't had meat since the slaughter house (see last entry).

Friday 8a.m. I accost the newstand to get two copies of the big review of my photography show. She basically said, art capturing the mundane has been done before and there is nothing special here. Except she threw me a bone and said that I had one gem. Okay. So that bombasted me off my center. I was nurturing crack dreams of sending an awsome review to the photographer ex who didn't believe in me, and sending it to all my friends and other galleries that I am trying to get shown at. I learned A VERY VALUEABLE TRICK...to use the "...she had a gem..." and only take the best part out. FUck it grrl, cuz hot damn this seed lives in the deepest part of me and no one. no one can take it from me. it's the fiercest, quietest part of me. I didn't ask to be reviewed, I don't care if I sell pieces. I'm not showing to gather opinion polls.

After this stinky ass review, I went surfing with a new guy. He talks the 'fer sure, narli' surfer talk. I couldn't catch a thing, because I wasn't believing in myself. Then a school of 24 dolphins came all over the place, jumping, playing, teasing. I swam over and was in the middle of them on my board. They have some magical energy, that made me zero in on the moment and finally get out of the review. I giggled like a lill' girl. Then I finally caught a great wave. I think I'm finally getting better.

Cause today Blondi (not the singer, just my code name) and Amira (who is the sexiest woman from London) and I went surfing deep south and I was out ripping it up in the mutha fuckin houz. Blondi was dropping serious celeb science. I have surfed with her for a lill while and I had no idea that she was a celeb. She is so low profile and great. She's been opposite DeNiro, leads in many major movies. As we got out of the water someone said 'hey aren't you in the movies'. That is wierd being with someone so down to earth and have that happen. She drops mad stories.

I went for a facial at my friends beauty school in Culver City. She is studying to be an estitician. As I followed her to the upstairs room, past hords of people gettting scary cuts from frightened begininners, she whispers to me that the place is kind of getto. My friend had gone through a 'chola' stage as she calls it.

I loved the experience of having a friend care for me, massaging my face with her fingers. I felt like a woman back in the ages when women nurtured and bathed eachother. It felt right. Until she put the stinky mud mask on my face, ouch, just like the elephants room at the zoo. I guess they can't afford Chanel. I left extracted, masked, toned and otherwise clean, with a few chalky green leftovers of the elephant poop. I love Lizard, and what I love more is that I'm finally bending to accept people as they are and not as I want them to be.

Last night I went to a hyper hip production, post prod. launch party at their new offices. It was insane. They hired models to walk around and illuminate an image. haha. There were some serious babies in the houz. I needed to munch on a few of them. But I kept it on the dl. I watched in a jealous moment of seeing how they are all for others and I'm off limits. Later they opened up a underground private rave like thing with my favorite dj: jason bently. He is a craftsman. It was delicious. I absolutely love the weekend combination of slinging my thing and surfing. Nothing better. oh except a 'slow fuck in the afternoon'. Tasty, sundown.

Don't underestimate the power of going bra and underwearless all day.

cheers, l