2001-07-14 - 12:26 p.m.

12.26pm chaing mai, northern thailand....

i can not get off the train.. the motions of the night spent on a train remain in my body carrrying me in like i'm sauntering in the ocean.

meeting that peruvian boy was delicious. it was the night of my period and my highest level of hormones and raw desire. the sweat blanketing between our bodies elevated my sensations. the way he licked me all over and paid speacial attnetion to my nipples. no man has ever been able to acheive stimulation via the breast on me b4. we were speeding down the street and our crack addict driver was screaming and i planted a passionate one on him becuz the whole caos of the scene made me nuts, the danger of it. like riding up the steep wave, begging it on. i think i fell in love with hyim. that is exactly the way i want my next relationship to be like, the way we were.

people are scammed constantly in bangkok. yet i have a solid system of cynism, born of the familial orgins of constant broken promises and breed by a city seething with false fronts. i feel at the top of my game as i see myself carve my way past all of the tourist scams.

bangkok is a city of great paradoxies. teaming with fast taxi's amidst your occasional elephant strolling by, sky rises to compete with nyc's best, alongside ancient temples covered in gold and shining blood red. whores and theives strutting against a traditional background tout in values and morals of modesty. the bottom line of it all is that everyone here is just trying to survive.

i had the most amazing thai massage where this woman used all parts of her body to stretch, contort and massage all parts of mine. i burst out an uncontrollable giggle as she thrust her palm on my proin muscle. i've got a thick and complicated travel itinary becuz i am stubborn and i demand the most out of my trip. but i can't seem to shake waking up at 4-5am and ending with superb jet lag. it all seems so romantic to travel, but remember there are frustrations with communication, lonliness, exhaustion alongside the other phenominal pieces of the journey.

much cheers, l