2001-04-04 - 5:41 p.m.

tip o the day: just ignore people with bad energy. do not take it on and do not let them take up free space in your head. don't you pay head rent on them.

where is that tip o' going? that damn accountant assisant. i just keep finding out more evil stuff about her. like she leads some group that teaches, get this, women how to please their men. and she kept calling herself a dumb housewive. she is a dangerous person. and i'll tell you another fuckin thing.

there was a

-moment-

upon which i thought of selling my eggs for money to take off work and travel. it's the only way i could think of to get extra money. but then!!! then i heard this witch talk about trying to get preg via and egg donation and i''m thinking, can you image if she had my little baby with my blue eyes and babyland features?. i'd kill her. i steal my baby back. you just don't know who your eggs will go to and that is damn damn scarey. i wonder if selling my sex is just plain easier? you can read about ripes amazing contemplations of this subject. oh my god she's just sitting there watching tv. again. all day at work. but here i am typing huh? my extra curricular activities are much more important than watching rosie o'donnell. that fuckin twerp of an excuse of a woman. it made me think of a series for lifetime about a horrific woman who has this egg insertion and the other fabulous woman who fights for her baby back after seeing how ms horrid treats her bambino. but she has no legal rights to it. k garne. if anyone knows what k garne means i wil give them booko bucks.

THE BIG NEWS. ripe and i are engaging in plans for torch the bunny tonight at 0800 hours. very excited about this. i have the lighter fluid, water, film. i can't wait and i'm wondering if it will go off. maybe the sucker won't even light on fire. maybe we'll be arrested? maybe i'll get an amazing series of pix out of it.

i'm looking so forward to tonight. i really hope we pull it off and have some fun too. ripe and i will be dressed ala sneeeky black on the dl in some secret location of desertion.

i'm doing some work stuff that scares me. always trying to push myself further. and it feels really naked. this weekend is my opening. i don't have an outfit

stinky took my to lunch today. we acted like kids cuz i haven't seen him in a while. he told me that he couldn't stay away from me cuz he's too in love and he thinks of me a lot. and i giggled and said that that was nice and kissed him and let him buy me fajaita's. what a nut.

i want a red bull. and at four o'clock i think that that is a good idea.

three things that make me smile:

*toni morrisons jazz as she describes a country sun low like a deep colored yolk and the way the ancient tree's hang so low that you have to reach the ground to get their fruit. her words sunk into me so much so that i got the tingles.

*when my loud car ingine sets off the alarms of those silly little tonka toys.

*that i have choices at all times, that i live realitivilly free and can make choices about my life. bless that fact, because many women across the world do not indulge in that same luxury.

question: have you done something nice today?

i imagine someone like ripe is nice all the time. but generally i can be closed. so i have to think about being nice, make efforts. today while picking up the water for the mission, i helped a blue hair with her easter candy in her basket. just that small human connection and kindness made me completely choke up and feel it.

love, l